


Second Times The Charm

by DxityDoo



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Arc Reactor, Arc Reactor Angst, Arc Reactor Issues, F/M, Tony dies right at the beginning, Tony is female in this, Totally, but its not sad???, its totally not coz he's hardcore based on me, no particular reason but i find it easier to write female characters, rated teen coz Tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 16:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13035237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DxityDoo/pseuds/DxityDoo
Summary: When Tony dies he's not sure what to expect - being reborn with everyone he knows was not particularly high on his list - being reborn as a girl was something he hadn't even considered. Of course, some reunions are brilliant, some not-so-good and some... well not-so-good is putting it optimistically.While getting to know those who were his friends in his past life, his memories slowly start to return, leaving him with a brain full of two timelines and no answers - why is he here and why does it feel like there's something more sinister going on behind the scenes?Cross-posted from fanfiction.net





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first proper I ever wrote and I haven't actually touched it for about two years??? So I'm not entirely sure how good it is but I skimmed through it and I greatly prefer the layout of this site to fanfic.net so it's on here now. This is currently unfinished but I do really want to finish it and maybe this will prompt me to actually get on and do it???
> 
> ...we don't question my logic.
> 
> Okay, well I'm not gonna keep you any longer. I hope you enjoy it!  
> Bye for now

When Tony died he went out with a bang. 

The explosion sent shards of glass from the windows flying in every direction, the building shook from the force of it and dust rained down from the ceiling. The sheer power of the explosion would be enough to injure anyone but it was, of course, Tony’s lucky day, and this meant that, of course, he  _had_  to leave incredibly dangerous chemicals nearby while he was doing this experiment. Of course. And, of course, they  _had_ to splash all over him and… well… It wasn’t pretty. 

At least, Tony thought to himself, it was by my own hand. He sighed. Well, he would’ve if he could but he technically wasn’t alive so he technically wasn’t breathing so he technically couldn’t breathe and - Who’s he kidding? He’s dead! There’s nothing technical about it. 

What would Steve say if she saw him now? Steve… He would miss him… Would he miss him? He didn’t know. 

All he saw was white in all directions. He wanted to move, wanted to walk one last time, run once more, take one more breath… Strange how you never appreciate the little things, the things you take for granted until they’re gone. 

How did he get himself in such a mess? He didn’t want to die cowering in his lab, he didn’t want to die from one of his ridiculously dangerous experiments going wrong. He wanted to die heroically, saving a child from a burning building, or jumping in the way of a killing blow meant for another person, or flying a missile through a portal into space… 

Yeah maybe not. 

But still, he didn’t want to die alone, no one knowing where he was or what he was doing… Except JARVIS but did JARVIS count? He had muted him beforehand anyway so it wasn’t like he was talking to anyone. 

God he should stop thinking, but he's never exactly been very good at that and, hey, there's not exactly much point starting now. 

He would miss them – Pepper, Rhodey – hell, even Fury. Could he miss them? If he was dead? He'd never been dead before – dying, certainly, many times even – but never...  _dead_. He'd always managed to get out of it somehow and now... What happens now?

“Okay brain, now’s a good time to  _shut up!_ ” he yelled aloud, barely breaking the deafening silence. He was trying desperately not to cry because Stark men do  _not_ cry but really there was no point – he was alone and, for the first time in his life, he was lonely. 

A flash of orange appeared in the corner of his vision. Pepper? Did he get her in the blast? Oh god, had he killed her too? She was  _so_  gonna kill him if that was the case (and, ha, wasn't that a funny thought, given his situation).

He had let her down again, hadn't he? He had let them all down. He didn't deserve them, not then and certainly not now.

But, though he denied it, his heart soared. He wasn’t alone - he could never be rid of them. Maybe they'd get him out of whatever mess he'd gotten himself into...

Suddenly, the world went white. What was happening now? What happened after death? To someone who had no concept of a god or some other higher power, Tony found himself unable to answer that question. 

He stepped forwards, edging closer to where he believed the source of the light was but he tripped and then he was falling, falling, faster and faster and he had no suit, had no way to get out of this and why, oh why must he  _always_  test fate?

Everything went black.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, this story is based off the films coz I've only really read the Spider-Man comics... So, yeah, forgive me.

Growing up, Toni had always been a bit strange. She edged around every person, studying them closely, watching their every move. If James hadn’t known better, which he did, he would’ve said someone close to her had hurt her, quite recently too. Well, there  _was_  the car crash that killed her parents and Obadiah but that had been an accident not directly aimed at her… Toni was confusing. She was a genius and incredibly out-spoken (often quite offensive with the way she threw around words) but at the same time she was cautious, always checking the coast was clear before rushing in. She was unpredictable and usually a danger, both to herself and others who were unlucky enough to be picked as her partner for science experiments. There was rarely a dull moment with Toni as his friend that was for sure. He chuckled. 

“Are you just gonna stand there smiling to yourself like a creepy paedophile?” Toni. Swinging round to face her, James smiled.

“You’re here early.” 

“Yeah well, Jarvis said I shouldn’t be late on the first day back,” Toni said, shrugging. Edwin Jarvis, Toni’s butler, had always taken Toni’s education seriously even though Toni herself hadn’t. 

“Well, when you see him next, tell him I appreciate not having to chase you myself,” he replied. Toni mock-saluted him.

“Whatever you say, boss.” Nudging her, James laughed.

“Come on let's go in.” 

 

His lessons were pretty dull. Between this and the fact that Toni had been nattering in his ear the whole time about some new project she was working on, he didn’t really learn anything. 

Toni never listened in lessons yet she always got top marks but James wasn’t Toni - he had to listen and take lots of notes to even remotely  _begin_  to understand most topics and, when he had someone talking about entirely different topics very passionately sat beside him, he found it very difficult to concentrate. 

It was lunch, over halfway through the day now, he noted. Toni was sitting opposite him, still chattering away at 100 miles per hour, her lunch untouched. James had long since given up trying to listen when it was obvious he didn’t understand about 99% of what Toni was going on about. 

“Rhodey? Hey Rhodey!” It was Toni’s nickname for James - Rhodey because his last name was Rhodes and, according to Toni, ‘ S’s were  _so_  last month’ (he had refrained from mentioning how her last name also included an 's', knowing she'd somehow manage to spin it around on him)

“Hmm?” he answered not really paying attention.

“Were you even listening?”

“Um… No?” 

“I thought so.” James sighed - Toni was nothing if not an attention-seeker

“Look, Toni, I’m sorry. But when you’re talking so fast I can’t get a word in edgeways or go on about some incredibly complex and brilliant theory of yours, I tend to get lost.” The blunt truth was sometimes the only way to get through to her. 

He expected her to get annoyed at him or tell him he wasn’t as smart as her and therefore would benefit from listening to her ideas. Instead, she looked down and muttered so quietly he barely heard her,

“It’s not a theory.” He was completely confused. Never, in all the time that he’d known her, had she sounded so certain about one of her ideas. “It works, I know it does.”

“What do you mean?” he was feeling a bit guilty, he hadn’t been listening so he had no idea what she meant by ‘it’. “What works?” Toni cleared her throat.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said before getting up and leaving, taking her lunch with her. That was strange… She never did that. Whatever he hadn’t listened to had obviously been important to her. 

He’d talk to her later about it – she had the same lessons as him so he’d see her there. Hopefully, she wouldn’t be mad at him… or sarcastic - sometimes sarcasm was worse. 

Getting up, he checked his timetable and went off to his next lesson, already planning out what he was going to say to her.

 

Toni wasn’t in the next lesson. James sat down in his place, worry and guilt gnawed at him, increasing in intensity, throughout the entire hour and, despite his earlier complaints that Toni was distracting him, he couldn't focus at all. It had been twenty-five minutes and yet Toni had still not there and, while she was kind of notorious for walking in late like she owned the place and never once getting told off, this was ridiculous. 

Gradually, James' worry turned to anger – anger at Toni, angry that she was being so childish. She had to know by now that most of what she said went right over his head. It wasn't  _his_  fault he wasn't as smart as Toni 'child-prodigy' Stark. Part of him wanted to go and find her but another part – the part that wasn’t being entirely logical and was, undoubtedly, the easy way out here – snarled ‘ Let her sulk, she’ll come crawling back sooner or later.’ He went with the easier option.

 

Toni appeared halfway through the lesson, paler than usual and breathing hard like she’d just run a marathon. 

“Sorry.” She croaked to the teacher, “I lost track of time.” The teacher didn’t look convinced but sent her to sit down anyway. She took her seat next to James, chucking her bag on the floor as she sat down.

“So where’ve you been?” James asked.

“Busy.” was the reply, not even a hint of sarcasm - that was new. James frowned. Now that she was sitting next to him, he could see that she was sweating. She looked ill but that didn’t make sense – she was fine not even an hour ago, surely not even she could have gotten sick in that time. Not to mention, if she was really ill, why hadn't she used it as an excuse to get out of the rest of the day? It wasn't like she'd never overreacted and made things out to be worse than how they actually were before. 

Mentally shrugging, he turned away and devoted his whole attention to listening to what the teacher was saying - now that his distraction was gone, he could finally focus. If he hadn’t been so engrossed in the lesson, he would’ve seen Toni wince and rub the centre of her chest like there was something there that was paining her. 


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably not gonna be accurate at all (my reasoning for this is the arc reactor is technically a magnet and metal is attracted to magnets so maybe there'd be trouble with metal things in cafes and restaurants... yeah I doubt that's how the reactor works but oh well!).  
> I'm sorry this chapter is pretty rubbish – I wrote this quite late at night quite a long time ago so it's not particularly good and there are a lot of short sentences...  
> This whole chapter basically revolves around the arc reactor and Toni trying to keep it hidden. Anyways, hope you enjoy. Au revoir!

Rhodey had brought Toni to town for some 'stress-free' time. Ha! Like that was going to happen. Toni was always stressed – her life was barely balanced on a thin wire and if that wire snapped things would start to go downhill  _very_ fast. 

Normally, she would've said no (because it was a weekend and she didn't get up anytime before 6pm on a weekend unless she had to) but Jarvis had 'convinced' (not left her alone until she agreed) her to and so here she was. 

She sighed, slumping even further in her seat. She hadn't even met up with Rhodey yet and already she wanted to get off the bus (yet  _another_ of Jarvis' 'good' ideas) and get the first bus that went back home. 

She was feeling achy and tired. She hadn't slept particularly well last night – her nightmares had been incredibly vivid - and she wasn't feeling great either. She just wanted to go to bed, close her eyes and sleep... Yeah that sounded like a good idea... 

WHACK!

Her eyes shot open as they went over a bump in the road that felt magnified at least ten times. Her head had whacked against the window when they had hit the bump and now she sat rubbing it, glaring at anyone who dared to look at her. 

This, she thought to herself, was going to be a long day.

When she eventually got off the bus (at the correct stop too, point for her) she had stared glumly at the bleak town she was about to enter and decided she didn't want to be there. She was just about to turn around and start walking down to the next bus stop when she heard someone yell her name. She cursed silently. It was Rhodey. She plastered a smile onto her face and turned to face him.

"I was wondering when you were gonna turn up," He admitted to her. "I was worried you weren't coming." She snorted.

"Didn't have much of a choice. Jarvis basically shoved me out the door." She said it jokingly but she was serious. "So what are we actually doing?"

"I didn't know if you'd had anything to eat or not yet so I thought I'd wait for you to get here first." He replied.

"No I haven't eaten. Let's get food. Know any good restaurants? I was thinking maybe something like the Ritz or-"

"How about we go to a café?" Rhodey suggested.

"Cafe? Never been to one of them." Toni said.

"Well then, it'll be a new experience." Toni shrugged. It couldn't hurt to try surely.

"Lead the way." She said, gesturing for him to go in front. "Just make it somewhere posh. And fancy." 

As she followed him through the town, she glanced at all the shops as she passed them, wondering what each one was and seeing if she could work it out with just the name. Most of them she got easily but a few she just couldn't get her head around. When Rhodey stopped, Toni wasn't expecting it and so she promptly walked into him. She took a few steps back and stared up at the café. 

"Costa?" She asked, indignant – Costa wasn't particularly posh  _or_  fancy. "Why  _costa_?"

"Because I like Costa." came the reply. Rhodey walked through into the shop. Grumbling, Toni followed him in. 

After thoroughly scanning the menu and deciding on the most expensive things she could find, Toni chose a table and sat down, leaving Rhodey to bring their food and drinks over. 

She leaned over and rested her face on the table. She was exhausted. She probably would've fallen asleep had she not heard the sound of metal scraping over wood. 

Looking up, she saw the prongs of the fork inches from her face. She jerked backwards, the legs of the chair making an ear-splitting screeching sound. The fork followed the movement – skittering along the edge of the table before clattering to the ground. Toni let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. 

"Well look at that," she muttered to herself. "They use real metal cutlery." She had been an idiot. She'd had this problem before – metal was generally attracted to magnets, it's the reason why Jarvis had made sure they only used plastic cutlery. 

Toni groaned - she was gonna have to recalibrate the magnet again and that was  _neve_ r fun. She slowly backed away from the table. She couldn't let Rhodey find out and if this was the only way, she would have to suck it up and deal with it.

It was at that moment - when Toni was backed away from the table, glaring the knife and spoon like they were going to attack her at any moment (which wasn't completely insane as she'd just been assaulted by the fork) - that Rhodey came over, giving her a strange look. 

"I brought your stuff over," he said. Toni snorted.

"I didn’t realise," She replied sarcastically. Rhodey just rolled his eyes and sat down. There was a pause.

"Toni, why are you sitting so far away from the table?" He asked.

"I like the space." Came the reply. 

"I think you should tuck in." Rhodey told her. He set her plate down in front of her, followed soon after by her drink. The shrieking of the chair legs on the floor as Toni dragged her chair closer to the table filled the air. She grabbed her knife and...

"Hey Rhodey?"

"Yes Toni?"

"Can you get me another fork?"

"What's wrong with the one you have now?"

"Oh nothing just... It's on the floor." Rhodey sighed tiredly, unfortunately quite familiar with having these kind of conversations with his friend.

"And why's it on the floor?" He asked, not really expecting a sensible answer. He didn't get one.

"It was looking at me funny." 

"Of course it was." He handed Toni his fork and got up to get another one for himself. As he was leaving, Toni breathed a small sigh of relief. He didn't notice – that was good. Now she just had to make sure no more cutlery attack- She broke off her thoughts to stop a spoon from committing spoon-icide. She set it down just as the knife decided to try and follow. 

When Rhodey returned, she was leaning as far back from the table as possible, clutching a knife in one hand, a spoon in the other and the fork clamped firmly in her mouth. 

Now, Rhodey was used to his friend acting weirdly – often she didn’t realise what she was doing was weird – but this... This was strange, even for her. He cleared his throat. She looked up. When she saw him, her eyes widened and she yanked the fork out of her mouth. 

"Hi." She said.

"Hi." He replied. "Should I be worried about what that was just now?"

"Nope, just testing to see whether the cutlery's balanced," She assured him. She smiled at him. He sat down. "It is if you wanted to know."

"That's great." Yup his friend was weird alright - hopefully that's all he'd think, Tony thought nervously. He started eating. 

All the time Toni was hunched over the table, eating or taking a sip from her drink, she kept a firm hand on the cutlery. Every time she took her hand off them for even a second, they would instantly skitter across the table towards her. She was praying that Rhodey didn't notice this, and he didn't seem to, but she caught him staring at her hand once or twice after she'd just had to catch the cutlery again.

When they finally left, Toni was more than happy - she felt immediately better now she was outside in the fresh air with no small metal things racing towards her every five seconds. She was happy enough that she decided to forget how much she had wanted to go home and agreed enthusiastically to Rhodey's suggestion of going to the cinema, any reason why going to a pitch-black room was a  _very_ bad idea had completely vanished from her mind. 

When they got there, they bought their tickets at the ticket machine (Toni was  _sure_  she'd seen it in a magazine from the 1980's), filled their pick-n-mix bags up to the top full of sweets (Toni's 'treat'), and grabbed two bags of popcorn – one sweet and one salted. Once they'd got everything they wanted ("Needed!" Toni protested) they made their way to Screen 3. The adverts were just ending as they entered and took their seats.

"Missed the ads." Rhodey observed.

"Great! I always hated those." Toni replied. 

"Do you even know what an ad is?" He asked.

"Yup. They're annoying." Rhodey shook his head in disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something but the lights blinked off and the screen seemed to stretch before their eyes. Toni, who wasn't expecting it, let out a small squeak.

"Shh! The film's starting." Rhodey whispered to her.

"I hadn't noticed, thanks for telling me." She muttered as a reply but, nevertheless, she stopped talking and turned to watch the film. 

If you asked her about it now, she would say she didn't know when she quite realised but, suddenly, the logical part of her brain came back online and she realised that 1. the padding meant to hide the glow of the reactor was almost non-existent (because it's the middle of summer and the padding adds layers that are  _not_  necessary when it's 40°C outside) and 2. she had messed up –  _again!_ Not just once but  _twice!_ Twice in one day. 

She had almost let out a loud sigh then but she had held it back – just. She couldn't stop herself from tensing up and becoming suddenly alert though. She had something not unlike a lens cap for situations like this but she had expected that they would stay in reasonably well-lit areas and even entertained the possibility of going to a cinema... There was nothing she could do about it now... 

Or was there? 

Silently praying that Rhodey hadn't noticed anything, she crossed her arms over her chest, effectively (or as effectively as she could manage at that moment in time) blocking out the light. She stayed like that for the rest of the movie – bending completely over if she wanted some popcorn or sweets. 

All in all, she doubted Rhodey noticed and, if he did, would think nothing of it – she was always being a bit weird (she liked to call it eccentric though Rhodey once told her that 'if you're eccentric, I'm a goat' and honestly, maybe  _he's_ the weird one if he believes he's a goat). When the film finished and they eventually left, it was all Toni could do to stop herself from letting out a sigh of relief. 

"Where to now, Colonel?" 'Colonel' was something Toni had started calling Rhodey recently. She'd had a dream about Rhodey and herself (only she was  _male_  of all things - sometimes she questioned her own mind) where Rhodey had been a colonel and then she had accidentally referred to him as Colonel the next day. Since then the nickname had stuck. 

“Don’t know. It’s getting a bit late though. Wouldn’t Jarvis prefer you to go home?” He had a point. She couldn’t say that out loud though.

“Nah it’s not late –  _midnight_  is late,” She shrugged. “As for Jarvis, he knows me.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“Never said it was.” Rhodey stared Toni right in the eyes - Toni stared back. Their stare-off continued for a while, neither could blink, neither could move, this could only end if one backed down and neither could. These kind of things happened a lot – they were equally stubborn – usually the only way to end it was by interruption from someone or something else but no one would do that when they were in town. 

If Toni was completely honest with herself, she wanted to go home – even though she’d had fun (which she obviously hadn’t, what are you talking about?) – she couldn't ignore the tiredness that was slowly seeping through her bones. 

She blinked and turned away. 

To say Rhodey was astounded was an understatement – he looked as though his lower jaw might fall off if he kept his mouth open any longer.

Toni had just backed down – Toni - Toni  _Stark_ _-_ had given up! 

"Yes the inside of your mouth is really very pretty." Toni informed Rhodey, sarcasm dripping from her words. Rhodey shut his mouth with a snap. Silence spread between them.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Toni shrugged. 

"If you want to." Rhodey nodded. This was Toni's way of saying that yes, she did want company but she couldn't say that because that would be showing weakness and Starks cannot show weakness. Toni mentally rolled her eyes at that – she knew that's what Rhodey would think and maybe it was just a little bit true – a really teeny, tiny, almost insignificantly small, but maybe, nonetheless, a little bit true (though she would never say that out loud).

"Come on then, let's go wait for the bus." He marched off, Toni following close behind.

When they eventually got to the bus stop that was closest to Toni's house, Toni was half asleep and not really paying attention anymore – she was glad Rhodey was there otherwise she would probably be a splat on someone's tire at this point. 

They walked the remaining few metres to Toni's house side-by-side, both silent, both exhausted. It really was quite late, Toni thought a little guiltily. And Rhodey still had to make his own way home afterwards. Suddenly Toni was struck with an idea so brilliant it rivalled Einstein's theory and Newton's discovery.

"Hey Rhodey do you wanna stay for a sleepover?" Okay, maybe not.

"Mmm?" Came the reply.

"Do. You. Want. To. Stay. For. A. Sleepover." She repeated slowly. "I mean it's quite late and it's not like you're gonna catch a bus anytime soon so you might as well." She winced internally, now it sounded like she was daring him and she should  _really_  learn to think about what she's saying before she's saying it. 

"Dunno. If Jarvis is okay with it then yeah." 

"Jarvis doesn't run the house. Well technically he does but technically I'm the owner of the house and- you know what? It's too late to be technical." Somewhere in her brain, a memory stirred;  _He sighed, well he would’ve if he could but he technically wasn’t alive so he technically wasn’t breathing so he technically couldn’t breathe and… Who’s he kidding? He’s dead! There’s nothing technical-_

She pushed the memory to one side. She got memories like that a lot – she wasn't even sure if they  _were_  memories but that's what she called them - and they always seemed to be incredibly realistic – more realistic than any of her actual dreams. 

Normally, they only came at night when she asleep but recently they'd been coming during the day too. She tried not to think too much about the implications it could have regarding her sanity.

Toni remembered the first time she had ever had a memory-nightmare – it seemed ages ago now but it was only from a few years ago. She had dreamt that she was in a desert and presenting some kind of weapon to watching soldiers, then she was in a van driving along and taking a picture with a young soldier, then she watched as a bomb exploded beside her and pain erupted in her chest, suddenly she was in a cave and there was pain, pain and blood and oh the pain – it was never ending, it was absolute, it was everywhere, everything. 

She woke up but she was still in the dream and then she saw the battery and waves of fear and panic washed over her and she couldn’t breathe and she was cold, so cold. She created a glowing blue circle of light and then the 'operation' and it was in her chest. Suddenly the scene changed and she building something – was that... _armour_ _? -_ and then she was strapped to something and unable to move and yet she was sure it was somehow of her own doing.

"We need more time." She didn't know why but those words filled her with dread.

"No," she felt her lips move, "Stick to the plan!" What plan? "Stick to the plan! Yinsen!" But the other guy – Yinsen, she assumed – didn't listen. He ran, yelling, gun pointed high, bullets firing and clattering to the ground uselessly. The last thing she remembered before she woke up was she was bending over Yinsen, his words strangely muffled and hard to make out:

"Don't waste your life..." 

And then she was awake and all she could see was blue light in the dark room – the same blue light from the dream – and she panicked. She screamed and shrieked, clawing at the  _thing_  that was in her chest, the thing that should not be there, that wasn't there before - the thing that she knew only a name for. 

And Obadiah had come running and had seen the blue glow. For one terrifying moment, Toni was sure that something not unlike greed had flickered across Obadiah's face but it was gone as quickly as it came and Toni could never be certain that she had seen it and it wasn't just her imagination. That thought still terrified her even though she knew Obadiah was dead now and couldn't hurt her.

"Toni? Hey Toni?" Rhodey's voice broke her out of her thoughts. "Did you even hear a word I just said?"

"Nope." She answered honestly.

"Well, I'm not repeating it. We're at your house now anyway." Toni looked up.

"So we are." She pulled out her keys (which didn't resemble keys as such, more like cards) and fiddled with the door, trying to unlock it. "You definitely okay with staying over tonight?" 

In all honesty, it was more  _her_  that would have a problem with it than Rhodey. She usually slept with the lights off and the padding that her daytime shirts were all lined with was uncomfortable to sleep in. 

But she couldn't let him  _know,_ couldn't let him see.She trusted him but this was something different, something  _closer_ _-_ more personal _._

She could tough it out for one night, surely. 

She didn't hear Rhodey's answer as, at that moment, Jarvis decided to make himself known.

"Miss, might I remind you that I was expecting you home approximately two hours, fifty-seven minutes and eight seconds earlier." He informed her.

"Yeah sorry about that. Anyway I'm back now, after... whatever time you just said. Oh yeah and Rhodey's staying over tonight." She strutted into the house.

"Miss Stark!" Jeez, Jarvis was persistent when he wanted to be. 

"Yes?" She replied, spinning around to face him.

"Are you sure that having Mr Rhodes round for the night is a good idea?"

"Yeah, actually I am. One of my best I'd say." 

"You know what I'm talking about, Miss Stark." Jarvis said with a lowered voice.

"Yes, I do. I'm tired and not bothered tonight. I'll just manage." Toni paused. "Or you can free up one of the guest rooms..."

"Miss Stark I-"

"No, you're right, that's too difficult. And it's late and- Jarvis just go with it. It will work out, most of my plans do."

"Fine." And he moved out of the way, letting Toni and Rhodey pass.

"What was that about?" Rhodey asked when they eventually got to Toni's bedroom.

"What?" Toni was tired and really couldn't deal with Rhodey's questions right now – or anything other than sleep for that matter.

"Downstairs with Jarvis."

"Oh nothing. Just something I was supposed to do and wasn't bothered to." Sighing, she flung herself on her bed, instantly sinking into the soft duvet. She relaxed into the mattress.

Silence.

"Um, Toni...?" Came the tentative voice from the other end of the room.

"Mmm."

"Do you have anything I could change into?" 

"Ask Jarvis." 

"Fine." She heard Rhodey's footsteps retreating. As the door clicked closed behind him, Toni hauled herself to her feet. Grabbing the first top she could find with padding sufficient enough to hide the glow from the reactor, she stumbled into her en suite and changed her clothes. 

She grimaced as she felt the now-familiar scratchy padding. Oh how she hated it. Note to self: get a top made with softer padding. She brushed her teeth before staggering back out and collapsing, for the second time, onto her bed. She didn't hear Rhodey come back in but she saw the lights switch off. She turned over and covered herself with the duvet, preparing to go to sleep. 

It was strange. After her initial reaction all those years ago to waking up and finding herself with the reactor, one would think she would hate it but she had gotten used to it - and now, looking into the darkness devoid of pale blue light, she realised that she found the light reassuring.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is less arc-centric. It's gonna be shorter than the last chapter too.   
> Btw I'm British so sorry if there's any confusion on some words.   
> (Also if you hadn't realised it yet, yes, this entire story is basically an excuse for stony and arc reactor angst...)

Waking up that morning was... different. 

Normally James would jump out of bed bright and early so he had enough time to get everything done. 

This particular morning he woke up late. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was the slightly muted glare of sunlight through the curtains. He had overslept – whoops. 

In all honesty, he didn't mind. He hardly ever got a lie-in and when he did he only stayed in his bed for about five minutes before he forced himself to get up but, and it must've been something about Toni's beds, he just couldn't bring himself to even consider getting up yet.

"Hey sleepyhead." James opened his eyes and looked over at the speaker.

"No." Was all he said, rolling over and pulling the pillow over his head.

"No what? I haven't even said anything yet!" Toni said, hand over her heart, feigning hurt.

"No it's not possible," he murmured just loud enough for Toni to hear. "It's not possible you're awake before me."

"Nah it is." Toni sat, leaning back in the chair she was sitting in. "Jarvis woke me up about five minutes ago. Nagging me to do something I can do perfectly well later, when we  _don't_ have a guest," she cleared her throat. "Anyway, you ready and raring to go yet?"

James studied her face – no elaborate, far-too-detailed-for - what time was it? - eight-in-the-morning explanation of whatever project it was she was working on? To say he was surprised was an understatement.

"-dey? Rhodey!" He was brought out of his thoughts by Toni shaking him. "Good you're listening. Thought you'd fallen asleep again or something. Anyway, what do you want for breakfast? We got cooked breakfast - according to Jarvis they're really popular in Britain - cereal," she pulled a face as if she couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to eat cereal, "I think we've got some crisps an-"

"Toni you don't eat crisps for breakfast." He interrupted, his friend's unusual habits once again making an appearance.

"Wha- What?" Toni stuttered, a look of horror had made it's appearance on her face at James' words. "But... When  _do_  you eat them then?"

"Um... I dunno, lunch maybe?" James replied, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Lunch?" Toni scoffed. "Now I  _know_  you're lying to me." James shook his head in disbelief, smiling slightly. Toni was the best person to hang out with sometimes what with her crazy view on life and constant energy - not that he'd ever tell her that. 

"You want breakfast?"

Half an hour later, James was comfortably breakfasted – was that a word?. He was still trying to explain to Toni why you don't eat crisps for breakfast when Jarvis walked in, looking very agitated. He was staring at the tablet (was it called a StarkPad?) in his hands with a mixed expression of shock and anger. He didn't seem to notice them.

"Jarvis? Are you alright?" James asked. He had tried to make his voice as gentle as possible so he didn't scare the British butler but Jarvis still jumped ten feet in the air. 

The tablet clattered to the ground. James studied the display on the tablet – it wasn't particularly close to him but he could make out some of it. It was a picture of a circular... thing which appeared to be overlaid with a bunch of calculations and complicated sciency-mumbo-jumbo he couldn’t quite read properly. 

Composing himself, Jarvis picked up the tablet and turned to Toni and Rhodey.

"Yes, Master Rhodey, I'm fine." Great, even Jarvis called him Rhodey.

"Okay... Just... Yeah good." James couldn't think of anything else to say so he didn't.

"Miss," Jarvis said, turning to Toni. "I would advise you-"

"I'll do it later." Toni interrupted – quite rudely in James' opinion. If he didn't know any better (which he did), he would've said there was a slight urgency with which Toni spoke, as if Jarvis was mentioning something Toni didn't like to talk about.

"Miss," Jarvis said, more sternly this time. "I strongly recommend you go an-"

"Jarvis," Toni seemed completely calm but James knew from experience that it was just a front – she could sound cool and composed but secretly be plotting ways to kill you. "I'll do it later, I promise. We have a guest now though." Jarvis sighed.

"As you wish, Miss. Don't leave it too late." And with that he promptly marched out of the room, eyes once again glued to the tablet. Once Jarvis was gone, Toni seemed to deflate.

"What was that all about?" James asked, completely confused.

"Homework." Came the reply. James frowned. Toni always did the homework the day they got it – she always told him it was so easy she could do it in her sleep. 

Toni was the biggest, most complicated mystery he had ever had the privilege to meet. A mystery which was confusing and nothing seemed to quite add up but when James found those last few pieces it would all fall into place – and he  _would_ find them.

"So what do you want to do?" Toni asked him. She was sitting on the counter, her legs swinging wildly.

"Dunno. What d'you have?"

"Did you just ask me what we have?" She asked him, shocked.

"Yeah."

"A lot of stuff. Mostly boring stuff. Seriously though," she turned to him. "What do you want to do?" There was a lot he wanted: He wanted Toni to tell him what she was hiding and why she didn't think she could tell him, he wanted to know what Jarvis was nagging her about, he wanted to know why Toni seemed to think whatever it was wasn't very important when, clearly, Jarvis would beg to differ. Instead he said;

"Do you have any good games?"

 

An hour later found Toni and James entangled, sweaty and both equally competitive.

"I'm gonna win, Rhodey. Just warning you," Toni told him, her voice slightly strained. "I could do this all day."

"Yeah you probably will," James replied. It was taking all he had to remain upright. "You've always been one for playing dirty."

"Are you insinuating that I'm cheating over there, Colonel?" Toni asked teasingly. 

"I never said that." James said, smirking.

_"Left foot to blue,"_ was the next command.

"Oh god!" Toni cried, twisting round to plant her foot on the blue spot behind her. Her other foot was on a green spot, her right hand on a yellow and her left on a red. She definitely didn't look comfortable.

_"Right foot to green,"_ James' turn just  _had_  to be impossible.

"'Scuse me," he said as he lifted his foot over Toni to land on the green splodge on the other side of the mat. His other foot was on a blue and both his hands were on red. It had helped. "You know I think I might actually win this." It was just his luck that Jarvis decided to enter when he was practically on top of Toni. 

"Miss, Rhodey's parents have..." Jarvis broke off, surveying the scene unfolding in front of him. He cleared his throat. James felt his cheeks go red.

"Hey Jarvis! I found this in the old lab. Figured you wouldn't mind if we used it," Toni informed him.

"No, Miss, that is fine," Jarvis replied. "I came to tell you that Master Rhodey's parent's called to ask where he is." 

"Tell them he's a little tied up at the moment."

"When should I tell them to expect him?" Jarvis asked, making a quick note on his tablet.

"In..." Toni paused to try and look at her watch without dislodging any of her other limbs. "Forty-five minutes sound good?"

"As you wish, Miss." And Jarvis walked out.

"So where were we?" Toni asked.

"I was about to beat your sorry ass." James responded, trying not to laugh.

"You wish, Rhodey. You wish." And so the game continued. 

As it turned out, James was wrong. Toni won and, for once, she didn't cheat in order to achieve it.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers are gonna start being introduced in this chapter... and yes, Steve likes Toni... are we surprised??

There was a new kid at the school the next day and Toni instantly hated him. Toni absolutely  _loathed_  change and would go out of her way to ensure that everything stayed exactly as it was. She hadn't even seen him and, when the teacher had told them they had a new member in their class, had stopped listening so she didn't know his name. 

James knew that Toni was incredibly stubborn and could usually forgive her but even he couldn't help but find his friend's attitude beyond rude. He just hoped she'd get over it.

She didn’t but it wasn’t too much of an issue as the new guy hadn’t tried to talk to either of them… yet.

*** 

That afternoon, they had science. The teacher, obviously thinking that he had had the most amazing idea in the history of ideas, decided to change the seating plan (not that there had ever been one to begin with) and ended up putting the new guy next to Toni and James next to one of the big 'rough, tough, save-the-world kind of guys', as Toni graciously put it. 

After everyone had moved into their new seats, the lesson began. For the first half of the lesson, James paid no attention to what was being said, too fixated on Toni and the new guy sitting next to her and what she might do to him given the chance. When, after 30 minutes, nothing bad had happened he decided to try and listen to the teacher only to find the teacher had stopped talking and was walking around the classroom, peering over people's shoulders and checking their work for errors only to walk away again, tutting and shaking his head.

"What are we doing?" James asked. The guy next to him turned to squint at the board.

"Uh..." He began. "Something with science?"

"Right. Thanks." James muttered. He was tempted to call across to Toni and get her help but knew she would probably be more trouble than actual help. Besides, she was busy talking animatedly to the guy sitting next to her to acknowledge James' strug-

Wait,  _what?!_

James couldn't believe his eyes. Toni, Toni  _Stark_ , the most stubborn woman he'd ever had the privilege to meet was talking to the new student she didn't even know the name of! 

He didn't register someone trying to get his attention, instead sitting there staring with his mouth open in shock. Maybe he didn't know Toni as well as he'd thought – this was the third time this week, at least, he'd been struck dumb by her actions.

"Um... Sorry, I don't know your name... But do you know what we have to do?" James snapped out of his trance.

"Wha...?" Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Uh, no... I'm James." He held out his hand but soon withdrew it when it became clear that this other guy wasn't going to shake it.

"Steve. So you don't know what we're doing?"

"No. I was going to ask Toni but..." He trailed off.

"That girl over there that you were staring at?" Steve asked, indicating with his head.

"Yeah. That one," James agreed. 

"Are you two... you know?" Steve waved his hands, gesturing wildly. James almost laughed.

"No. We're just friends. Why?" Steve opened his mouth to reply but, before he could, Mr Barnes walked over, shooting them questioning looks.

"Steve, James, did you not understand the assignment?" He asked in that loud-enough-for-the-whole-class-to-hear voice that all teachers seemed to possess.

"Um... Well, we..." Steve stuttered.

"Not really, sorry Sir." James said. Better to get it over and done with, in his opinion.

"Well you can have Bruce and Toni come help you as they're finished." Mr Barnes concluded. James winces. Toni was not going to like that - she did everything she possibly could to prevent herself from becoming the teacher's pet. 

Mr Barnes called Toni and Bruce over and explained to them what he wanted them to do. To his surprise, Toni didn't talk back or seem annoyed at all.

Fourth time that week.

"Ol' Barny said you were staring at me, hmm Rhodey?" Toni said as way of greeting. James decided not to grace that with a response. Bruce gave Toni a quick look but otherwise had no reaction.

"So what bit are you struggling with?" He asked, politely. 

"We didn't hear what he said." James said, bluntly.

"Well..." Bruce signed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Better get started then."

*** 

Lunch couldn't have taken longer to come around. Science had been stressful and all he'd learnt was that Bruce and Toni should  _not_  be left to talk science - once they'd started, there was no stopping them. 

They'd had a free period afterwards and Toni had vanished. James still hadn't seen her and, though he would deny it 'til he was blue in the face, he was starting to feel just a little concerned at his friend's absence.

He was brought out of his thoughts by someone slamming their tray down in front of him. He didn’t need to look, he knew it was Toni.

"You gonna break the table if you keep doing that." He said, looking down at his plate.

"Sorry... I guess I don't know my own strength..." James' head snapped up. That was  _not_ Toni's voice. "You don't mind if I sit here do you?" It was Steve.

"No," James said, gesturing for him to sit down. "Sorry, I thought you were Toni." What followed could only be described as an awkward silence.

"So... How long have you been friends with Toni?" Steve asked as way of conversation.

"A while." Another silence. "Hey, Steve? I'm sure I'm reading this wrong but – why are you so obsessed with Toni?"

"Oh, I uh-"

 Fortunately, Toni chose that moment to reappear.

"Rhodey, science guy." She greeted. "Miss me?"

"Do I want to ask where you went?" James said, already convinced he knew the answer.

"Ask me no questions, I tell you no lies." Yep. "What were you talking about?"

"I'm Steve." Steve said suddenly.

"Sounds interesting," Toni said, only half-paying attention. She was fiddling with her cutlery, scooting her food round her plate, seeming uninterested in actually eating anything.

"No, I mean, my name is Steve. I – You called me science guy, I assumed you didn't know my name." Toni glanced up.

"Okay, Steve then," she leaned forward, head resting on her hands. James bit back a groan. That was her 'Sherlock face' as he had internally dubbed it – it was the face she made whenever she was about to attempt to break the other person down. She called it 'testing their mettle', James just thought it was cruel – especially for those who didn't know her beforehand.

"You have a last name or do you just go by 'Steve'?"

"Oh, uh– Rogers." That got Toni's attention. 

James saw the shift immediately – her shoulders tensed up, her full attention focused on Steve. Poor Steve.

James was confused. Who was Steve Rogers and why did Toni – notoriously famous for  _not_  caring – care?

"You been here long, Steve?" She asked carefully, an edge to her voice.

"Not really. I moved here pretty recently," then, seeing Toni's questioning look, added, "From Brooklyn." Toni leaned back slightly, thinking.

"Interesting," a pause, "Brooklyn not so good?" 

"It was okay," Toni tensed, another question already on her lips, but was interrupted by the bell. 

James stood, taking the remainders of both his and Toni's lunch over to the disposal unit - which was really just a fancy name for a bin that was constantly overflowing and smelled as though it hadn't been emptied since the medieval times.

James returned to the table to see Toni, walking out the door to the food hall, nattering away at Steve who was looking more and more overwhelmed by the second. He jogged after them, stretching the 'no running in the corridors' rule a bit more than he was comfortable with but, unless he wished to subject Steve to a slow and painful death via Toni's  _unfortunate_  tendency to talk forever, it was necessary.

As he drew closer, he could hear snippets of the, albeit  _one-sided,_ conversation.

"-and it would be powered by a miniaturised nuclear reacto-"

"-that seems a bit far-fetched, doesn't it?"

"Hush, I'm talking. Anyway, the reactor is run by clean, self-sustaining energy which is why it would be a  _much_ better alternative to run cars on etcetera, etcetera. But I think-"

James never found out what Toni thought because, at that moment, Toni cut herself off with a wince, a hand automatically going to her chest. James took the pause to reinstate himself as part of the little 'gang'.

"While I'm sure  _you,_ Toni, can afford to blow off a few lessons, I'm not sure the same can be said for either myself nor Steve – no offensive Steve," James told her.

"None taken,"

"We," James continued, gesturing between all three of them, "all have maths together and guess what's next? I'm sure you can continue this conversation there." Toni sighed, straightening herself.

"Yes,  _mum,"_  Despite her obvious distaste, Toni still followed James as he led the way to the maths classroom they would be confined to for the next hour of their lives.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for a while. Chapter 6 is currently half-written and it's from Steve's POV coz apparently stony is a thing that's gonna happen (that was sarcasm).  
> More arc reactor whump essentially... It's me, are we really surprised??

Okay, so Toni  _had_  meant to check the reactor after Rhodey had left the day before – seriously, it was on her to-do list and everything! And she had  _meant_ to check it before she went back to school that morning but times change and she hadn't managed to.

She'd been having this problem for a while now. As far as could tell (without removing the damn device, of course – she still hadn't worked up the courage to try it yet), it was still doing it's job but, every so often, she could feel it short-circuit. (Exposed wire, probably, her brain helpfully provided.) Which meant that now she was in this situation. And by 'this situation' she meant the reactor shorting-out every few minutes or so, which was great fun. Oh, and she was also sat between her best friend, who kept glancing over at her looking worried – nothing got past him, and Steve, who was... well, Steve. 

Great.

She leant forward only to quickly return to her original position as even the smallest movement was setting the reactor off right now. She bit back a whine as the reactor righted itself – too slowly, she thought even though she knew it took less than a second each time. She could  _not_ deal with this right now. 

Oh, Jarvis was  _so_  gonna kill her when she got home. Or be insufferable because he was right and she was the idiot here. How much time was left of this lesson? It felt like it was dragging on forever. 

Toni glanced at her watch, it read '3:20'. Ten whole minutes left?

This time, Toni let out an audible noise, slumping over on the desk, feeling miserable – even more so when she was forced to sit up straight again. Damn reactor. Why did she even have to put up with it? Oh that's right. Because her psychotic mind apparently managed to dream it into reality. 

Her life sucked.

"So, if y is directly proportional to x and y is 5 when x is 8, what does that make y when x is 10?" Mrs Hill was saying. Did Toni have to listen to this? Probably not - she could do direct and inverse proportion in her sleep - but she couldn't afford another strike against her name. She almost groaned when no one else but their hand up. Down to her then. 

"Toni?" And there it was.

"Six point two five," she replied instantly, surprising no one – with the exception of Steve, she corrected herself.

Five minutes.

"Correct," Mrs Hill said. Then, seeing everyone 'discreetly' packing away, she continued, "Now I would like you to complete the questions on the board very quickly." Groans erupted from the class, Toni included. 

Normally, she didn't mind maths but, then again, normally, she wasn't having a mini-heart-attack every time she so much as twitched.

While the rest of the class reluctantly completed the task set, Toni sat, as still as she could, gazing out the window, waiting for the bell to ring. The minute it did, she was gone. She didn't bother dropping her stuff off – she needed to get home. Now.

She pulled out her phone and called Jarvis.

"Miss?" Came Jarvis' voice, a slight white noise in the background. Driving, probably.

"Hey, J. You here?" She asked urgently.

"Just turning in now," True to his word, Toni could see the familiar silver car pull into the car park. She started towards it, eager to get home as quickly as possible. "May I enquire as to the problem?" Toni sighed. Might as well get it over with. 

"I forgot to check it," she replied. She knew she didn't need to elaborate - Jarvis knew, he  _always_  knew.

"Miss, I  _did_  remind you," Was that a hint of... disappointment in his tone? Great, now Toni felt like crap with a side helping of guilt.

"I know, J, I'm sorry. I just forgot," she said tiredly, not in the mood to deal out some of her signature Stark Snark™. Jarvis, obviously picking up on this, let the subject drop.

Reaching the car, Toni wasted no time clambering in. She slumped back on the seat, grimacing as the reactor shorted-out again for a second before returning to normal. God, when had she started thinking of the reactor as 'normal'. It wasn't normal by any shape nor form and the circumstance in which she had happened upon it wasn't exactly your everyday, run-of-the-mill type scenario.

"-iss? Miss?" Jarvis' voice snapped her out of her self-pitying.

"Jarvis," she replied, coolly.

"Is there anything you need or shall we proceed home?" Toni was silent for a moment. Technically, she didn't know what the problem was yet, she had a pretty good guess but it was just that – a guess. Eventually, she shook her head.

"No. Let's go home, J."

"Understood, miss."

Toni was ready to crash the second she got in the door but, of course, Jarvis had other ideas and, unfortunately, a point.

"Miss, you called me specifically to tell me you had forgotten to check the reactor and, therefore, caused problems for yourself," he said, shooing her off the couch on which she had so graciously flopped. "Do you wish to end up in this same situation tomorrow as well?" Grumbling and groaning, Toni got to her feet and trudged to the lab. She needed her tools – and a mirror.

Half an hour later found her wrist-deep in metal and wires. 

She had checked the reactor and found her hypothesis to be correct – it was an exposed wire which made contact with the socket wall and broke the circuit, effectively shorting-out the reactor's main power source. 

She was now in the midst of creating a new one – the better solution of the two, she had decided – in order to fix the problem. But now she had another problem; she had no idea how to actually build the damn thing. 

Sure, she remembered building it in cave from scraps of missiles and other assorted explosives but she didn't have any of the resources she did then now - wow, that was confusing – not to mention it hadn't even really been her who built it in the first place.

Did she even really need this glowing ball of light in her chest? She knew from her dream why it was there originally but did she get the shrapnel along with the bulky metal cylinder? She hadn't tested it and, frankly, she was slightly scared to but, as they said, no harm no foul.

Steeling herself, she twisted it in it's socket and, slowly, carefully, pulled it out. Before she went any further, the logical side of her brain protested – shouldn't she have some kind of back-up plan, worst case scenario? 

She paused for a moment. Worst case scenario, she had managed to dream the shrapnel into existence as well, in which case, with all the short-circuiting the reactor had been doing that day, she probably would've died already. 

In theory.

She'd be fine, she decided, yanking the reactor cable from it's socket. Mmm, she was fine. See? Nothing to worry about, Toni told her past self, slightly smug.

But then it went wrong.

A sudden wave of pain swept through Toni, turning her legs to jelly. She was instantly grateful for the chair behind her as she collapsed into it. She could hear her heart beating loudly, frantically, in her ears – a warning. Too little, too late. Was she still holding the reactor? She didn't know. Her entire arm had gone numb. Where was it? She was scared, her body working against her. She needed it. She didn't want to die because she couldn't be bothered to take the proper precautions. Where had it gone? 

The pain swept through her again, turning her vision dark. Her ears were ringing and she couldn't work out if she was falling or imagining it. Was this how she went out? Because she couldn't be bothered to check whether removing the thing that was supposedly keeping her alive would actually kill her? No big bang, no explosion, no finesse – just something which could, technically, be classed as suicide. Now that wasn't that a cheery thought.

She tried to laugh but it ended up sounding more like a choked sob. She didn't want to die. She wasn't ready to die. Not agai- Wait, again?

Then, suddenly, she could see again, she could breathe. She looked up confused. And there was her saviour, Jarvis - a very angry, slightly traumatised Jarvis. Any small spark of relief she had been feeling vanished, replaced with cold, hard dread.

"Whoops?" 


End file.
